Fartclan

the best clan, it stinks but at least you get a break from being surrounded by obese cats here you can fart in peace and you can have farting battles, if you really love farting, you will love fartbattles

= FART SLAVESSSSZZZ = each obese cat gets a turn spraying out gases from themselves, then exploding farts nonstop and then pee on eachother, they they rip their fur off so they look like naked molerats, then they 1v1 eachother in peebattles

= PEEBATTLES = when cats get angry in fartclan, you gotta go crazy, after the cats 1v1 eachother and look like naked molerats, they pee on eachother and then fart out blasts of diarrhea, whoever licks the diarrhea dies and goes to diarrheaclan, which is forbidden to talk about in peebattles. after screaming because they're cold and bald, they run off to their dens and each grab a coat made out of fox fur. then they come back leaving a trail of pee and spray eachother in the face while their fur grows 5 times big, after being clothed, the fur of their back legs sheds and make sure it don't grow no more for easier peeing. after that they start to spray eachother again and do not go back into their dens, after a peebattle, you will be half bald for the rest of your life.

= AFTER PEEBATTLES = cats crowd around the victor and start to pee on the loser, a cat who was chosen leader screams and protests that all of the cats should become bald like a sphynx and those who arent bald should be hauled to riverclan to eat fish until their demise. after every cat is bald and makes sure all hair no grow back, they groom eachother's feet and then they start to make a giant pool of pee. after this they start to lay down and spray themselves in their morning bath, then they continue to groom themselves in icky ways until they dry and then grab a random twoleg and devour them, then they make tribes of skinless twolegs and they fart together and pee together for the rest of their 100 lives each consisting of 1000 moons. i swear if you don't join this clan your not a true cat.